Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I cut my penus on the lid.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
