Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize