Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
