i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
