Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
