Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
