Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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