honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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