He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
