Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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