I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
