Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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