the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
