Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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