You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I met the friendliest cop last night
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
