what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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