i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
