Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
