Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
