You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
