Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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