Do you still have your period?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
