he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Boobs are out for the taking
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize