Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
