Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
