i'm signing you up for texting rehab
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Pants are for mortals
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
