Soap is not a condiment
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
