Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
false alarm, still single
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
