i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
