3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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