i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
