Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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