i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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