maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
