your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
