I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
