Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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