I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
