Apparently you make a good broom.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
