don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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