i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
