I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
