Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
