Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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