Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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