He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
