I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize