Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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