Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
it glows. i had to have it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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