I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
