I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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