is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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