I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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