Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
