Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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