YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
