You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
