How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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