Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
