Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
