this just has baby written all over it
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
