i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
