Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
