i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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