R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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