I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
