you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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