Need sex. Gaining weight.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
its liver damage thursday
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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