I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
