i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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