she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
