this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
