the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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